On A Loop

There are moments when all I want to do is be wrapped in you in silence.

It’s not a thing that happens only when I’m sad.

I just want a quiet closeness with you.

To hear your heartbeat, feel your chest go up and down as you breathe, feel your skin, have my mouth so close to you that i sound muffled if I speak.

I just want to be close to you, craving the type of intimacy where i don’t know exactly what kind i want i just know i want to be close.

Maybe we’re in your apartment and we can hear the train, or at mine and we can hear the street below, or in some airbnb in arkansas where the silence is unknown and a bit eerie but we’re with each other.

I know that your mind doesn’t work in a way where you can give that to me for like a long time, but i always really enjoy the few minutes that we can and it really carries me.

When i think of wanting that and you’re not around, i watch this video. It’s not the same type of closeness but the feeling i get after and while watching it, is the same type i get after our bodies separate in those moments of tightly shared space.

I love you, i really love that i get to love you and i know that I’m loving you right baby.

okay thats all :)