Just A Dream

You left yesterday.

I cried a lot.

I miss you terribly already and it’s always harder the first few days you know.

When I went to bed I got in and all I smelled was you, I got cozy inside and the scent of your cologne filled my nose as I held onto your sweater.

But I wrote this because I had what felt like the realest dream I’ve had in a long time. I think it was triggered by us watching Candyman or maybe just because of all the emotions I was feeling before I went to sleep. And it wasn’t a dream, more like a fantasy?

Anyway, I woke up and I checked the time and it was about 8:40 AM, so I laid in and closed my eyes to hopefully go back to sleep. It felt like I was transported into this, other world in my apartment? Because in it, I got out of bed and walked out to see the back of your head bobbing to some music. I smile and as I made my way around to you I asked you “Is this real? Are you here?” and you said “I wish I was but no baby, I’m not but sit next to me anyway.” We sat on the couch and I cuddled into you harder than I ever had before. I don’t remember the rest because I am writing this a few hours later and I know I should have written it down as soon as I “woke up” from it.

But I did wake up and then I smiled but was also confused because it all felt so real, like for the first time when we say “meet me in my dreams” it actually happened and i remembered it. Maybe it’s happened before and I just don’t remember but this time I did and I am so grateful.

You’re starting to study and I am so proud of you, I also hope we get to talk soon about your OCD, I’d like to know all I can so that I can learn to not do the things that trigger you and put them into practice where they just come second nature to me. I wasn’t aware that you were in a tough mental state while you were here and I apologize if i added to it, I promise you—outside the ones you shared—I was doing the triggers unknowingly and really was trying to put into practice the others but don’t worry, just like lots of things in our future—we will figure them out together :)

I love you, I adore you and I miss you.

It’s my first day at outfest and they are already wild lol but I am prepared and ready and going to get this experience and make this extra money.

Love you!

<3

P.S OMG I learned that I can turn on comments on these blog posts! How cute and fun!